Norm-defiers Gifts

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

"While your idea is novel and innovative, it questions the status quo and can harm those entrenched in this organization. I'm ruling it out as being too disruptive."

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

'Mother! Would you stop referring to Charles as a latchkey husband!'

"Sigurd advocates civil disobedience relating to the 'law of gravity'."

'Boy, when they say one trip salad bar, they MEAN one trip salad bar!'

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."

"It's Spring. I'm wearing it."

"I am here on behalf of a concerned caller, why are you wearing shorts in winter?"

'Son, you need to get your priorities wrong.'

Wild Bill Hickok. Really wild Bill Hickok

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

"No you weren't disturbing us, we were just having sex."

Man in top hat at pedestrian crossing, sign says 'Don't dance'.

'No, it's not my diploma. I dropped out. It's my birth certificate.'

"It's been a year. Seriously. No one cares anymore."

"I bet they're not so much commandments as best practice guidelines, am I right?"

On the beach

"Please scream inside your heart"

'Ms. Hempworth, check with our legal department...why must we obey the rules?'

"How long do we have to be together before everyone finally stops asking us when we're having kids?"

"Don't drink the Kool-Aid! 'Science' is a scam dreamed up by the interlectual elite to keep us down!"

'Life's so much more fun since we switched rolls.'