Societal Norm Breaker Gifts

"We used to tell people we were childless by choice until we found they're less judgmental if we blame it on fertility problems."

Smash the System

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

'So who's smoking?'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"Here's a buck, kid... Don't tell your mom I snuck out of my retirement home!"

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"It's very sensitive of you to realize that men like to get flowers!"

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

A Woman Asking The Father's Permission To Marry His Son.

"I'm tired of being the cockroach you want me to be and not the cockroach I want to be."

"Welcome to Sandy Beach. Everything prohibited."

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"While your idea is novel and innovative, it questions the status quo and can harm those entrenched in this organization. I'm ruling it out as being too disruptive."

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

'The health elf will never find me up here.'

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

Laws of Chicago - Illegal Objects Inserted in Parking Meters.

'So... shall I put you down as a Miss, a Mrs, a Ms or a miffed?'

'Are you sure you don't want to marry me just because I'm a woman?'

"The first rule of musical chairs club is...you have to get out of your chairs!"

'No, this isn't my son, the doctor. This is my other son, the one who didn't make much of himself.'

"There were gasps of horror as Nigel appeared holding a mug of coffee."