Deficit Slayer Gifts

Budget Cuts

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Giant slug attacks a city

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

'It's only a slug Norman.'

World Cop.

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

'Another casualty of U.S. Rating agencies...'

"No more stress!"

"This year, no coal for the bad guys!"

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

Economic Experts

News and Magazines. Budget News. I'm not worried about the debt --- it's too big to fail!

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

'no, I'm sorry to say, giving up your bonus has not increased my respect for you.'

RE-Elect Sen. Krupt. I understand he's a hawk on defense, a dove on foreign relations, and an ostrich on the deficit.

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

'Watch out!'

File, Henry, before the mob arrives.

'Your presentation left them open-mouthed. Every one of them was yawning!'

Jan was one of a select few personal trainers who would exercise demons...

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

'I realize you're a tax paying American citizen, but you cannot list the government as a dependent.'

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

"Exorcising one's demons."

Quarantine

Highest Anxiety

'...Oh! THAT three trillion...?!'

'Don't worry Hal, I think if you pour salt on them, they completely shrivel up.'