Deficit Slayer Gifts

Budget Cuts

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Giant slug attacks a city

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

World Cop.

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

'Another casualty of U.S. Rating agencies...'

"No more stress!"

"This year, no coal for the bad guys!"

Economic Experts

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

'no, I'm sorry to say, giving up your bonus has not increased my respect for you.'

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

'Watch out!'

'Your presentation left them open-mouthed. Every one of them was yawning!'

File, Henry, before the mob arrives.

Jan was one of a select few personal trainers who would exercise demons...

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

'I realize you're a tax paying American citizen, but you cannot list the government as a dependent.'

"Exorcising one's demons."

Quarantine

'...Oh! THAT three trillion...?!'

Highest Anxiety

'John is a great father and a wonderful husband, but occasionally he wrestles with demons.'

'Don't worry Hal, I think if you pour salt on them, they completely shrivel up.'