Deficit Denier Gifts

RE-Elect Sen. Krupt. I understand he's a hawk on defense, a dove on foreign relations, and an ostrich on the deficit.

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

Cost of Terror.

"It's my 39th birthday, and I'm not dealing with it well. What's wrong with me?"

"I say if he wants to take up ballet, we should let him."

"I can't stand reality. What makes you think I'll enjoy it virtually?"

"Do me a favor, Harlow. When you greet me, stop saying 'Hello, big spender!'"

World Cop.

'Just a little off the top.'

"No more stress!"

'Another casualty of U.S. Rating agencies...'

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

Economic Experts

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

'I used to answer all my homework questions by using a search engine. Now, my teacher started giving open-ended questions. All that thinking is cutting into my video game time.'

News and Magazines. Budget News. I'm not worried about the debt --- it's too big to fail!

'Looks like our social security check came in, as well as a bill for your student loan.'

Office of Management and Budget door is upside down and is closed.

'The budget deficit is falling! The budget deficit is falling!'

Reality, and lots of it!

'I refuse to accept that it's really winter until the very last leaf's fallen from the trees'

File, Henry, before the mob arrives.

Budget Cuts

Burning bills

'I realize you're a tax paying American citizen, but you cannot list the government as a dependent.'

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"

I'm announcing the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Movie-Watching for Alphas." Chapter One: The critics are all wrong

'...Oh! THAT three trillion...?!'

"It keeps asking me if I'll accept cookies... I'm not even hungry!"

"What's the facts? What's the facts? You can't handle the facts!"