Defiant Drinker Pillows

I Drank At A Bar In 2020

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Happy Hour

"An everything Martini, please."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"They know me here."

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

'The first cocktail.'

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'Just too many choices.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

Ginspiration!

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Physician heal thyself."

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

ASBOs

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

'Single or double?'

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

'I'm having what he's having.'

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'

"India ink, straight."

"And a bag of peanuts."

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

Beefeater cocktail

OUT of ORDER