Rebellious Drinker Pillows

Happy Hour

"An everything Martini, please."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

"Physician heal thyself."

Banksy

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

'Single or double?'

Beer versus Wine

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

'Mom took all the good rebellion stuff.'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"India ink, straight."

"You know…feces throwing just doesn't seem as politically incorrect as it used to."

'I'm having what he's having.'

"And a bag of peanuts."

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

OUT of ORDER

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

Christmas drinker

"There were gasps of horror as Nigel appeared holding a mug of coffee."

Beefeater cocktail