Defensive Genius Gifts

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

We have to stop surprising each other.

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

Alex Ferguson

Goalie Wall.

"It's baaaack!"

Carl shrewdly dupes his co-workers into believing that he is totally committed to the new mandatory overtime policy,

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"My organization will ALSO be focusing on this section here."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"Need help with your computer project? I have two teens at home."

This Amount of Computer Code

"At least it'll be dark when they climb out."

'I like Haffner's idea better...if we get caught, his idea is good for only six months in the slammer. Your idea is good for five to ten years.'

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

Herd Nerds.

"It's pretty bad when a goldfish has more memory than your computer. What were we talking about?"

"Kazakov is employing the rare 'Mr. Castle and Horsey go on an adventure' defense."

Casino. Ask about our frequent take-a-flyer program.

Football crowd cheer when goalie makes a save.

"Kevin gerrymandered our room again!!"

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

"Hands are much more capable of efficiently directing a ball into a net!"

The goalkeeper puts up a wall of bricks

This Digital Life - as experienced by the bottom of a coffee cup.

Roberto di Matteo