Defensive Genius Pillows

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

"It's baaaack!"

Goalie Wall.

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"My organization will ALSO be focusing on this section here."

'I like Haffner's idea better...if we get caught, his idea is good for only six months in the slammer. Your idea is good for five to ten years.'

"Need help with your computer project? I have two teens at home."

"At least it'll be dark when they climb out."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

"Kazakov is employing the rare 'Mr. Castle and Horsey go on an adventure' defense."

"It's pretty bad when a goldfish has more memory than your computer. What were we talking about?"

Herd Nerds.

Football crowd cheer when goalie makes a save.

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

"Kevin gerrymandered our room again!!"

'Forgive the interruption, but can the surgeon wait until after he operates on me to play his chess.'

"Hands are much more capable of efficiently directing a ball into a net!"

This Digital Life - as experienced by the bottom of a coffee cup.

'Hey, Ferguson — think fast!'

The goalkeeper puts up a wall of bricks