Deceptive Genius Gifts

Carl shrewdly dupes his co-workers into believing that he is totally committed to the new mandatory overtime policy,

"Well, I'm 6 foot 2 in my bare feet."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

'I don't trust him - he's got beady eyes.'

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

"We fell for this last time remember..."

The life of penguins.

'Interview Dr. Witt for your esteemed journal? Of course, as soon as his play period is over.'

'He was working on a theory of entropy, and developed a severe case of it himself.'

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"It's a setup."

'Damn sea monkeys.'

Yes, you are speaking to Grandma.

Gardener of the Year.

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"See...polystyrene!"

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"That guy invented the hula-hoop, the frisbee and the internet. Two out of three ain't bad."

"They're not home.."

How to throw your voice: 'I am guilty. I did it. I confess.'

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

'Poor old Fred at home. He thinks I'm out selling Tupperware.'

'With my technical expertise, I could conquer the world!' - 'Do you and your little friend want some cookies?'

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

'I've been lying to you, darling. I'm not really Godzilla, King of the Monsters...'

"As exercise, it's torture, but as torture, it's not so bad."