Deceptive Genius Gifts

"Well, I'm 6 foot 2 in my bare feet."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

The life of penguins.

"We fell for this last time remember..."

'He was working on a theory of entropy, and developed a severe case of it himself.'

'The Board's meeting at nine O'clock - you bring the smoke, I'll bring the mirrors.'

"It's a setup."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

'Damn sea monkeys.'

Yes, you are speaking to Grandma.

Gardener of the Year.

"Pecan pie with rum-raisin ice cream is the best revenge."

"See...polystyrene!"

"He's not a big, bad wolf, Gramps - he's a predatory insurance agent!"

How to throw your voice: 'I am guilty. I did it. I confess.'

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"They're not home.."

"That guy invented the hula-hoop, the frisbee and the internet. Two out of three ain't bad."

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

'Oh, I know I get an allowance for cleaning up my room, but I'm on vacation this week.'

"Oh, gosh, oh no, you've found me out..."

'With my technical expertise, I could conquer the world!' - 'Do you and your little friend want some cookies?'

"As exercise, it's torture, but as torture, it's not so bad."

'Convention time in the liar's club.'

'I've been lying to you, darling. I'm not really Godzilla, King of the Monsters...'

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"