Tactical Genius Gifts

Alex Ferguson

"She does everything he does, only backwards, forwards, and diagonally, in high heels."

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

Pep Guardiola

"It's baaaack!"

"Kazakov is employing the rare 'Mr. Castle and Horsey go on an adventure' defense."

"At least it'll be dark when they climb out."

Roberto di Matteo

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

'Hey, Ferguson — think fast!'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Sid Sinatra.

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Gaah! You sank my longship!

Who's torturing a crow? I'm practicing my play. It's art! Which opens your mind to life's important questions. Right. Like what is art? Or do we need little brothers?

The Use of Cavalry

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

Trojan horse.

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

"My organization will ALSO be focusing on this section here."

'Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?'

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

"Being a leader means you have the ball, what are you going to do with it?"

"Whose great idea was the four four two formation."