Tactical Genius Gifts

"She does everything he does, only backwards, forwards, and diagonally, in high heels."

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

Pep Guardiola

"It's baaaack!"

"Kazakov is employing the rare 'Mr. Castle and Horsey go on an adventure' defense."

"At least it'll be dark when they climb out."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

'Hey, Ferguson — think fast!'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Gaah! You sank my longship!

The Use of Cavalry

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

Trojan horse.

Chess player painting all the pieces his colour.

"My organization will ALSO be focusing on this section here."

'Ever have one of those days where nothing seems to go right?'

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

"This is the rendezvous point where you'll make contact with the target and organically bring up if he things I'm cool."

"Being a leader means you have the ball, what are you going to do with it?"

'And that's the quickest way out of the car park after the game.'

Rock, paper, scissors

"Whose great idea was the four four two formation."

'I like Haffner's idea better...if we get caught, his idea is good for only six months in the slammer. Your idea is good for five to ten years.'

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

On the Eve of his epic defeat by 'Deep Blue', Garry Kasparove awoke to an ominous warning,