Defense Dabbler Gifts

'I read Robert Gates' memoir. I wish he were still Secretary of Defense so we could cut his budget!'

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

This salad tastes funky� Is this ranch dressing? Oh, I'm sorry, sir� I thought you ordered raunch dressing.

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

AUKUS Alliance

"Oh, don't get all defensive at me!"

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

'I've got to get in shape. I visited a fitness website and now I'm sore.'

A knitter's in and out boxes

'Our 'Resolution Membership' is a no-obligation contract, complete with unscheduled workouts and spotty routines that fit anyone with weak, annual ambitions.'

'It's just a first draft.'

'When it comes to investing, I'm not bullish or bearish... I'm chickenish.'

Despite their best efforts Hell's scientists were never able to break the scorn barrier,

Toy boat on a tsunami.

DANGER - hook and worm...!

"Lord, Satan rejected this fireman. What shall we do with him?

Badminton/Goodminton

'Your Dad's OK, he's just been temporarily inspired by the Olympics...'

Stock Market - Ok, you've convinced me - give me one more share.

Ceramics Dept. (You Break It, You Bought It.) Book Dept. (You Speed-Read It, You bought It.)

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"

"We know them socially - not politically."

Karate and Judo: 'Will one lesson be enough to get more housekeeping from my hubbie?'

'Sorry about the vessels; I can't seem to decide if I want to be a wine guy, or a beer guy.'

'Hezbollah said it is willing to negotiate not with Israel or the US but with Mel Gibson!'

The sign reads - CAUTION, BOTTOMLESS PIT, NOXIOUS. The LESS has now been crossed out.

'No more steam roller spotting for you,Henry Huggins!'