Deep-sea Escapist Gifts

Scuba texting

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Oi! You threw that on Porpoise!'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

No early morning tea past this landing

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

Octopus holding a balloon with the number eight

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

Two divers sword fighting under water with swordfish

"Delivery."

Fisherman has his dinghy punctured by a swordfish.

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

"I see you've come prepared for an in-depth interview."

'Have you been under much pressure lately, Mr. Verne?'

Diver with metal detector thinks he has located treasure but he has located atomic waste.

Shark's Scuba Mask.

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"The only problem with working for a pirate is that we tend to only sail in the Caribbeans: It gets boring after a while..."

"You can speak freely- this is a private beach."

Shipwrecked sailor finds island with shark on it

Scientists find a giant plug in the ocean - 'I don't know what it means either, but for Pete's sake don't touch it!'

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

Mermaids

The End Of The Pier Is Nigh!

'Instead of being stranded on this island for the next 10 years, I used my pocket knife to build a boat out of palm trees. I told you my woodworking skills would pay off.'

"Happy New Year Ahahaha hahaha hahahahaha hahahahahahaha"

'Have you farted?'

American Idle

"Honestly, Edna, he just wasn't worth it!"

'Welcome to I shell.'

Atlantis, a case of a poor city water planning.

'Oh my God! It's Billy the Squid...!'