Deductive Reasoning Gifts

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"The problem with your reasoned solutions is they don't fit my preconceived notions of the problems."

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

Maze of legalities.

'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

"I wasn't persuaded by his presentation. His logic was strong but his threats were weak."

My tax preparation software accused me of padding my expenses.

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

'One loophole per taxpayer only'

Indicators - "Sorry, Crossley, I'm not happy - I can feel it in my bones."

'If you remove all the gray areas, you take all the fun out of the law.'

'After deductions you owe us forty two pounds.'

"Hey, you're good! I could do with someone like you who knows all the loopholes."