Deduction Expert Gifts

Accountant - Out For A Deductable Lunch

Gerald is convinced that not paying any taxes is the best revenge

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Pizza time.

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

Sexy Slot Machine

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

The emergence of a leader.

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"When this is all over I'll be nice to people."

"Why is it always me who has to make all the decisions?"

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

My tax preparation software accused me of padding my expenses.

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'

Parking validation

Introvert Career Faire.

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'