Deduction Detective Gifts

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'I've got more money this week. They've given me my deductions and kept my wages.'

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

'One loophole per taxpayer only'

Tax loopholes...

"They taxed my tax refund."

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

"Hey, you're good! I could do with someone like you who knows all the loopholes."

"Hey! Nice going - here's your tax rebate."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'After deductions you owe us forty two pounds.'

PAYMASTER, 'I'm sorry, Mr. Fergus, but your deductions won again this week.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"We've got all your figures, now we just need to decide what order we want to put them in."

Accountant: Tax Deferred Suggestions

Inland Revenue 'Think Disallowable'

PAYMASTER, 'I'm sorry, Mr. Fergus, but your deductions won again this week.'

'Do you have anything that will help me do my taxes?' 'Yes, but we're not allowed to sell it on Sundays.'

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

Something wrong with your salary? Yes, after tax, pension and union fees, I owe you $34!

My tax preparation software accused me of padding my expenses.

'First, my compliments. You almost had us on a couple of these deductions.'

IRS. Your return is stuffed with improper deductions. My accountant is a "tax-idermist"!

Tax terms take on new meanings while you're working on your return. For example, the rules are called the tax "code" because they're indecipherable for most people. Doing you taxes breaks you. That's a "tax break." The agony makes you feel like your blood has drained out. That's a "tax cut." And then there's the "extension." I feel like I've been stretched on a medieval rack!

IRS. His deductions are a lot more legitimate than his income is.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Unusual Offers