Deduction Aficionados Gifts

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

"I might just get a pie."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

"Returns"

"Abra-Viagra."

World Championship Mime-Off -'HEYYY! He's in a REAL box!!'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

'Apparently the poor love's walkman is broken.'

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

Whatever

The Magicians' Union...

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

'I propose we trade services - you cure me of my delusions and I'll protect your navy.'

The Cowards Way Out.

Itemicia: The muse of itemized deductions

'Hey, I'm sorry! It's Spring, and I was watching the woman in the blue dress!'

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

'When I ordered you to clean the john with a toothbrush, I didn't mean an electric one!'

"I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you right back?"

"Bigger isn't always better. Unless we're talking deductions."

"Mister Watson, come here -- I need to know why we're not on a first-name basis."

"Sir, Hagstrom is craving some attention again. Shall we email him the canteen menu and mark it 'URGENT'?"

"Today, we give thanks for all we've had in the past...everything we enjoy today...and everything coming our way."

"It started out as my itemized deductions, but it's turned into a novel."

Accountant - Out For A Deductable Lunch

"Mr. Daniels, I'd like to talk to you about the disappearance of several young ladies."

Woman sawed in half