Distraction Enthusiast Gifts

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

"Look, an update."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Pizza time.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

Artistic license.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: A Bob Named Sue

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

The Keyboard

"I believe this will be an adequate busy look."

"This isn't really helping."

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

I'm sorry, your honor, I'm a little distracted. Would it be okay if I were to continue questioning the witness via cell phone from the hall?

Fake Muse

"Mom, what's refraction?"

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

Are you calling 911?!

"I'll now show the doodles form the last committee meeting."

Ned stepped out of the office for a little texting, tweeting, status updating and general web surfing...hours later his GPS app placed him deep in the woods.

'Hey, I'm sorry! It's Spring, and I was watching the woman in the blue dress!'

4 Reasons for Procrastination

Edna arrives home unexpectedly.

"You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today."

"How do you spell 'procrastination'?"

"You've never really grasped the principle of drag hunting have you Phil?"

'Dad, can I borrow the wig tonight?'

The Why-Can't-This-Event-Be-In-Miles-Like-Other-Sports-In-This-Country 10K

"How long have you had these delusions of grandma?"

"Mister Watson, come here -- I need to know why we're not on a first-name basis."