Deduction Aficionados Pillows

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

"I might just get a pie."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Happy Birthday Magicians of America

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

"Returns"

"Abra-Viagra."

World Championship Mime-Off -'HEYYY! He's in a REAL box!!'

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

'Apparently the poor love's walkman is broken.'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

The Great Banzinni discovers the oldest trick in the book.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

Whatever

I'm the illusion fairy. Every time you lose one, put it under your pillow and I'll pretend to give you a dollar.

"Guess which one I made with a 3-D printer."

The Magicians' Union...

'I propose we trade services - you cure me of my delusions and I'll protect your navy.'

The Cowards Way Out.

Itemicia: The muse of itemized deductions

'Hey, I'm sorry! It's Spring, and I was watching the woman in the blue dress!'

"By breaking the seal on this dress, you accept the terms and conditions printed on my panties."

Expect the Unexpected. If you think about hat for a while, you can get really confused!

'When I ordered you to clean the john with a toothbrush, I didn't mean an electric one!'

"Sir, Hagstrom is craving some attention again. Shall we email him the canteen menu and mark it 'URGENT'?"

"Mister Watson, come here -- I need to know why we're not on a first-name basis."

"Bigger isn't always better. Unless we're talking deductions."

"I'm in the middle of something. Can I call you right back?"

"Today, we give thanks for all we've had in the past...everything we enjoy today...and everything coming our way."

"It started out as my itemized deductions, but it's turned into a novel."

Accountant - Out For A Deductable Lunch

He usually doesn't like math, but he loves doing payroll deductions.

Gerald is convinced that not paying any taxes is the best revenge