Deduction Strategist Pillows

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

"Good heavens, Holmes! How did you deduce that I had recently lost my reading glasses?"

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

"Boss, I have a suggestion for you that's win-win. It'll save you thousands of dollars in health insurance premiums... If you pay to have me cryogenically frozen and then thawed every other day, I'll get to live to be 180, and you'll get an employee who's young and productive for the rest of your life."

Goalie Wall.

Banana striptease...

'We'd like one pizza cut into eleven pieces.'

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

"This wasn't the kind of budget cuts I had in mind."

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, Russia and Qatar agree to freeze oil production

"We need to be extra careful about expenditure...and I thought we could save a but by having the Xmas, New Year and redundancy parties at the same time!"

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

"I don't have a set price. I charge what the market will bear."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes, but we just can't allow all these deductions."

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

'Efficiency,' he whispered.