Dedicated Wordsmith Gifts

'I should be finished with our harrowing tale of survival by the time we reach dry land.'

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

I think you're ace

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

Best Seller

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

You trip on it, you buy it.

A Poet

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'He never listened to his mother!'

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

Bell Hop

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

Tom Stoppard

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'