Decorated Serviceman Gifts

'The large crate contains my medals.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Veterans Day US

"This one is for not complaining about stretched too thin handling domestic and foreign crises."

"Buy him a pint and he'll tell you about the blitz, buy him three and he'll re-enact it"

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

"And that one shows my frequent flier miles."

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

Soldier's medals continued on back.

Military General with numerals medals and uniform decorations with 'cont. on back' sign.

Clearing up medals.

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Remembering All The American Idols.

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

'This one is for not stirring up global tensions with anything I say in TV interviews.'

'That one's for being a very brave boy!'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'This one is for 'don't ask, don't tell', and this new one is for asking and telling.'

"You could say I'm a war veteran. I'm a retired junior high teacher."

For service to services...

"You weren't kidding, those are just tiny pictures of your grandkids!"

Christmas package.

World War II - Stalag 541 escape club reunion annual dinner.

Blood on their Hands

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

"I'm out of space – can you pin it on Pinterest?"

'I'm feeling a bit more secure about the world situation. He just invested in a six-year certificate.'

Officer with many medals.

A sporting sort - clubs , hearts, diamonds and spades for medals

"I only wear the medals around the holidays."

"There's a trade today honoring vets. Wanna go?"

'I'll have the hero sandwich.'