Decorated Officers Gifts

"I only wear the medals around the holidays."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Neo-International Law

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

hard-boiled egg...

"Postwar is hell."

Military Medals

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."