Decorated Soldier Gifts

"To the right and down. Isn't that a squirty flower?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"This one is for not complaining about stretched too thin handling domestic and foreign crises."

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

Military General with numerals medals and uniform decorations with 'cont. on back' sign.

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Soldier's medals continued on back.

Why Crabs Make Lousy Soldiers.

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

'I earned these from my alternative energy initiative...they're solar panels.'

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

It's okay. This interrogation technique was approved by Cheney himself.

GOP senate refuse to pass veterans jobs bill.

'This one is for 'don't ask, don't tell', and this new one is for asking and telling.'

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

"You weren't kidding, those are just tiny pictures of your grandkids!"

Christmas package.

'Oh no! A Portuguese Man of War.'

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"

'I'm going to use it to write letters to keep our health benefits, son...we veterans have a new battle when we get back.'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

Puss in Bootcamp

'Thank you.'

"I'm out of space – can you pin it on Pinterest?"

'Reminds me of Army Boot Camp...'

'I earned this one from Haliburton.'

'I'll have the hero sandwich.'

Two women graduate for the first time from US Army Ranger School

"After I received this medal, I got drunk and got this tattoo. After I earned this medal, I got drunk and got this tattoo. After I won this medal..."

A sporting sort - clubs , hearts, diamonds and spades for medals