Decontamination Specialist Gifts

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

Polluted geese

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Whack-a-molecule

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

Boy swinging on wrecking ball swing: 'Stu had a future in demolitions.'

Meow Power Demolition team.

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

"it appears I'm being relocated"

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

Fishing for Litter

Welsh water sewage

Brain Bomb Detector

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'We spoil that dog.'

'A toxic waste dump? Great idea! I've been wondering how to spruce up the swamp.'

'I was cleaning it and it went off.'

Magnet at scrapyard

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

Fair readers, please accept these personal tips for remaining healthy and germ free. Public service announcement! Keep your stress low. Exercise, eat right, hydrate and try to get a little affection in your life, if you get my meaning. If you use someone else's computer, wipe down the keyboard with alcohol to kill the germs. Ditto with the mouthpiece of a borrowed cellular phone. Don't touch anything or anyone. Bathe yourself in hand sanitizer. Don't leave the house, and if you do, don't inhale

'It took you three years to build it. I'll have it down in 15 minutes.'

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

Red Wire of Black Wire?

Earth day - spring clean.

Stu had a future in demolitions.

'I'm screwed...'