Decontamination Specialist Gifts

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

Polluted geese

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Whack-a-molecule

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

Boy swinging on wrecking ball swing: 'Stu had a future in demolitions.'

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

"it appears I'm being relocated"

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

Fishing for Litter

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

Welsh water sewage

Brain Bomb Detector

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"OK, I think we're pretty much back to square one. You can stop now."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

'A toxic waste dump? Great idea! I've been wondering how to spruce up the swamp.'

'We spoil that dog.'

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

Wearing radiation suits to clean the toilet

'I was cleaning it and it went off.'

Magnet at scrapyard

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

'It took you three years to build it. I'll have it down in 15 minutes.'

Earth day - spring clean.

"As you can see, hands are about to hit peak dryness, so we're predicting record lotion sales for next quarter."

Red Wire of Black Wire?

"I always put things off until the last minute."

'I'm screwed...'

Stu had a future in demolitions.