Decision-making Foodie T-Shirts

'Let's get some lunch in here. I don't trust my gut instincts on an empty stomach.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"If this food is healthy, then what about the rest of the store?"

"Look! Now they offer healthy choices we can glance at before ordering our usual junk."

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Supermarket Aisles.

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

"Give me the menus—you've kept the chef in suspense long enough."

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

"He usually doesn't see anybody without an appointment, but since you brought pizza ..."

"Two eggs, any style? My mind is reeling."

'Here's our strategy...for your last meal order all-you-can-eat and eat it VERY SLOWLY!'

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

"It's not a question of kosher. He's checking the rabbi's name to see if it's one whose politics he agrees with."

"He'll have the meat loaf"

GM food

Restaurant deciding whether to cater or not to cater.

"Steak? Let's go with the fish. It's brain food. After, if you still think eating steak is a good idea, we'll do that."

Why George finds it hard to lose weight.

"I couldn't decide what to cook for dinner, so I didn't cook anything."