Foodie For Smart Choices T-Shirts

"Steak? Let's go with the fish. It's brain food. After, if you still think eating steak is a good idea, we'll do that."

But is it organic?

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

'Diet considerations.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Making healthy eating bearable.

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'Trade you lunches?'

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"I knew a breakfast meeting would be a mistake."

Complex Carbs

"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

"I'd like a vanilla cupcake with buttercream icing on the side."

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house, but we can do it for 40% less carbs and no trans fats!'

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

World Meat Consumptiom

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

"I never saw such overweight mice before."