Debate Influencer Gifts

"So what do you think about Brexit?"

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Oligarchy

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

What's normal?

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Scarcity

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

The economy.

Dialogue

Difference of Opinion

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Skeptic Tank.

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Now that's a win."

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'