Death Planner Gifts

Death planning is all the rage, sweetie. Besides, it's the right thing to do. We've got to detail what we want to happen in case of various eventualities, like if we get really sick. Do we want to be revived? What measures do we want them to take to sustain life? Do we demand in inquiry into whether Sean Hannity caused our deaths? I wrote that in the section marked other. From inspiring excessive lust?

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

"Death coach..."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

"Great, now we're lost."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

"Efficiency tombs available"

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Decision time

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

Listen, just focus on making it to the sea – You can worry about what you'll do with the rest of your life later.

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

Enter. Exit. Your Choice

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Heavenly meetings.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'At every corner I face the same questions: should I go forward? Should I go to the left? Should I go to the right? Where does my fortune lie?'

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

Baby boom expected due to corona

'I tend to bury stuff.'

2 trilobites; 'So what are you going to be when you die - oil or gas?'

'You'd look good in that.'

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

'My backup special...'

'The end is near.'

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

Great coaching is about understanding your coachee's agenda..