Dealing With Insurance Claims Pillows

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

"Congratulations...your cholesterol is lower than your copay."

$10 a step at the doctor's office.

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

'Oh, great, my insurance agent. I was just texting you.'

Insurance claim on Grandma

'The good news is your HMO has waived your co-payment on the autopsy.'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"You're on standby if Mr. Benny's insurance company doesn't give us a last-minute approval."

'My insurance company says I have to get three estimates.'

"He has sticker shock form his health care costs."

'Insurance Adjuster Rejector of the Year' 'Claims Delayed and Claims Paid Promptly'

'Yes... it's one of ours. Looks like Riley with some minor wing damage.'

"I didn't get to see the doctor. The office closed before I finished filling out the 'New Patient' forms."

Do you have health insurance ?

"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."

'You look sick. Why don't you see your health insurance underwriter to see what he'll allow your doctor to prescribe?'

The Bad News: Fred just signed away his claim. The Good News: The insurance adjuster just qualified for a bonus.

'I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance policy clearly states we don't cover acts of God.'

Health care squash - 31 million uninsured voters.

"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"

"My concussion caused that out-of-body feeling, but my insurance caused that out-of-pocket experience."