Dealing With A Home Flood Gifts

"Either the house was built on a flood plain..."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

New Power Shower.

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

'This place has been bailed out more often than Greece.'

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'

"The environmentalists should be happy - climate change is helping to restore former wetlands."

'Noah completely forgot the fish.'

"We've got water views again."

'...Actually...we're trying to find our house...'

"The first thing we do is go and withdraw our 'rainy day' investment."

"I'm having my feet webbed next week."

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

"The good news is I've found a plumber...the bad news is he's coming from China. "

"It's deeper by train"

"I guess that bone's a goner..."

'And now the last minute report just handed to me ... The dam has broken! Head for the hills!'

Woman in desperate need of a plumber.

"I'm glad my agent persuaded me to get flood insurance and keep all my important documents together."

'I don't have any cash flow problems. It all washed away in the flood.'

The old woman who lives in a shoe meets a friends who says: 'My new home is built on a flood plain ??" but thankfully it's a welly.'