Dealerships T-Shirts

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Drool Marks

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Do you buy cars here?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

'You seem qualified. What concerns me is the car you're driving. It's not sending out the right message.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

General Motors.

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

Man with desk organizers labelled 'Wheeling' and 'Dealing'.

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”

New-Car Shopping with Arianna Huffington: 'She says if we give her a car, she'll give us exposure by driving it around.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"Buy my data $20"

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

'The car dealership is letting me buy an expensive sports car, one piece at a time. I decided to buy the steering wheel first.'

The car showroom

Wonderland Auto Dealers. We have some very satisfied customers. Humpty Dumpty loves the airbags in his new car! Hansel and Gretel are happy with their GPS. And the three bears think their security system will prevent break-ins. Goldilocks probably wishes the three bears bought something with keyless entry. The biggest complaint is from Cinderella. Did her car into a pumkin? No, this time it's a lemon!

"So the question you need to ask yourself is - 'Just how much of a mid-life crisis can I afford?'"