Dealership Dweller T-Shirts

"Actually, the 24/7 Roadside Assistance kinda makes up for the 24/7 vehicle depreciation."

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

City Boy.

In case of emergency, break glass.

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

Bookshop: Unpopular Economics

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

Shakespeare Street

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The weightless office.

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

'And here we have the half bathroom.'

Cat and Broom

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'