Dealership Humorists Gifts

'It goes with your eyes.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

A Semicolon.

Cat Delivery

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

"Okay, I can offer you a loan with a 75% interest rate and serfdom for your first born. It's a great deal and I'm only offering it because you're my son."

Used space shuttle

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

'Our motto is, 'We'll do anything to sell a car!' but he really means it.'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"O.K., don't e-mail this to anyone, but we're shorting black big time."

"Sure, you have to spend money to make money, but first you have to steal money."

'I know you didn't actually transact any business, but we do have a $2.00 cover charge.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Maternity Ward - 'I wonder what his credit rating is...'

He says he'd like his change in Skodas...'

"Thanks again, and I'll be seeing you real soon. Your new car has already been recalled."

"But what is money? Why does it have value? Who gives it value? What is value?"

"Never mind the transmission and the brakes. Is there a warranty on the horn?"

"Before negotiations begin, we'll soften them up with 15 minutes of cute cat videos."

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

"Let's do this in your office. I hate talking shop in the shop."

"This car is very economical on gas. Used hardly any getting over here."

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

'...And then I was betrayed by my trust fund.'

'Okay, which ones are the bad guys?'

This lane reserved for average persons only.

"Okay...when the light turns red, you stop. When the light turns green, you go."

"Frankly, we've been having some problems with this model."

Caution: Armed Student Driver

"Bernie's problem is his technique draws attention to itself."

"We had time on our wings just when they need drivers. I see no flaw in this plan at all!"