Delivery Humorist Gifts

"...A comfy chair and a footbath would get me really excited!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Rap-scallions

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

"Ding" "Dong"

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

No Instruments Please

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

Now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto.

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Maurice Ravel.

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

A Capella: singing without musical accompaniment.

How to deliver a baby grand.

Musician feedback card

A singer being criticised

"Yes it's Mozart...but is it evidence-based Mozart?"