Delivery Humorist T-Shirts

"...A comfy chair and a footbath would get me really excited!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Double Saxophone

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Rap-scallions

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Ding" "Dong"

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

No Instruments Please

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Maurice Ravel.

A Capella: singing without musical accompaniment.

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

How to deliver a baby grand.

A singer being criticised

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

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