Daytime Tv Skeptic Pillows

"No wonder they leave the house every day: daytime TV is awful..."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Dr. Phil takes it home.

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

Bad Influence of TV

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

Outside the Soap Opera Screen Actors Guild.

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

Robert Kilroy Silk - Out.

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

'Why do they call them 'soaps'? All they do is dig up dirt.'

'The evening news was bad enough, but now he's dozing off during the 'Today Show.''

'They leave the TV on for me during the day when they go to work: Boy daytime TV is boring!'

Go To Sleep Britain...

"Do you suppose I could enjoy 'Dynasty' without listening to an hour of suspender-snapping?"

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

David Dickinson

'The doctor from 'daytime television' said I've got gall stones, but I thought I'd better come to you for a second opinion.'

"He loves watching daytime shows where people throw a lot of hissy fits."

"I just don't get these reality shows!"

Speakers who watch too much Oprah

'I know when I'm being worked in during a commercial.'

"It means this show has been dumbed down to the level of people who couldn't pour water out of a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the heel."