Daytime Tv Devotee Pillows

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

'Have you noticed? She always calls a recess at the exact time 'Oprah' comes on tv.'

Antiques Road Rage

Speakers who watch too much Oprah

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'...And now stay tuned for 'Why Bother?', the program that calls itself into question!'

'Our mother, I'm so pent up with rage I could twitter!'

'I picked it all up from daytime TV.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

Dr. Phil takes it home.

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

Watching telly

"There's the remote!"

TV and man

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

'Everything these days is influenced by television.'

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

Outside the Soap Opera Screen Actors Guild.

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

The Sports Fanatic

"We begin the day hammering. Then there's 'Regis and Kathie Lee.' Then we do some more hammering, followed by lunch and 'Days of Our Lives,' more hammering, 'Oprah,' and, finally, home."

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

'...Remember, it's only going to be broadcast once!'

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

'Why do they call them 'soaps'? All they do is dig up dirt.'

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

Employee Survival School

"They went together, doctor!"