Daytime Tv Junkie Pillows

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

Dancing with the Star Wars

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

America's funniest investment scams

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

'He's in training for the Olympics'

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

Wall mountable TVs.

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Note to viewers: We've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Honey, Clay Buchholz is about to cement a Cy Young!"