Dating Strategist Pillows

"I found an older man that I want to spend the rest of his life with."

'It's my secret to meeting girls. It covers the odor of school bus with the smell of a new car.'

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'I'm getting back into the dating scene. What's the protocol these days...is it him or me who texts first during dinner?'

'Dear there is a man out there for you... avoid him.'

'-and if you think he's fat wait until you see his wallet!'

'The mature woman knows exactly how to attract a man. . . eensy beansy cell phones. . .the mature woman doesn't necessarily want the man when he gets here. . .'

Lulu's computer dating: 'Rule number one, lose the pocket protector on the first date!'

"I was hoping for someone with poor eyesight and no imagination."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'Forget the job... I'm using it to meet women!'

Man in a disco carrying a 'between bimbos' sign.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"I usually tell lies to a girl on the first date. It keeps her interested enough for me to ask her out again!"

"...at the end of the day he's either got the biggest tail feathers or he doesn't...

'He passed the first test- he's not married. Now, if he was married, would it be to a woman or a man?'

'You don't have to spend money to have a good time, Melinda -- you just have to get your DATE to spend it.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Have you met my wing man?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"I've tried a lot of life strategies, and being completely self-serving works best for me."

"Ideally, I want a guy whose eyes will well up but doesn't actually cry."

"He's old money, but, unfortunately, minus the money."

Sexual Arena Football

"I've taken a vow of chastity with guys living in poverty."

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

5-hour relationship drug.

"I just don't want to be the rebound iguana."

"I figure that since were just going out for drinks, I'd invite my friend Randy....It's absolutely not because I'm awkward with women and he's a stud and can give me quiet pointers when you go to the tinkle room."

"That's why, I always recommend amateurs just ignore all winks."