Dating Games Strategist Pillows

'Oh yeah? Well step outside to my hotel room and say that.'

'I sent out for everything.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Personal conker trainer.

Hockey Season.

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

Tic-tac-toe

Target your message

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

Two monks play tic-tac-toe with calligraphy-style 'x's and 'o's.

'Hold on, Pepe!... The score is tied with less than a minute to go - and the losing team gets boiled.'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Dating the efficiency expert.

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

Tetris Rejects

Existential Risk

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.