Dating Game Analyst Pillows

'Man, we're never gonna get any ladies with that guy around.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Boyfriend of the Month.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

"I'm not ready to put you on my favorites contact list, but I will add you to a group text."

The Stages of Wine

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

Tom prepares for his hot date.

Cards Blind Dating Game

"I just don't want to be the rebound iguana."

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"I'm a simple man, really."

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

"There's something different about you."

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'

"I fancy tall men."

Babe magnet

"Have you met my wing man?"

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'