Date Night Strategist Pillows

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

"Do you have anything that would make him seem a lot more attractive?"

'This way she'll think I go to lots of fancy restaurants.'

Let me see if I have this straight...you expect me to pay for my own dinner? It's a test...with me, it's alwys dutch treat on the first date. Of course I usually save a bundle on second dates as well...

The first date went pretty well

'I'd invite you in for coffee - but I've run out of condoms'

"The last one was clearly incompatible - she didn't think a shelled walnut resembled a human brain."

"It's my own fault for dating a management consultant."

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"You and your daft inventions."

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

Sharing Drinks.

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

"I hope this guy isn't as dull as he looks."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

"I know you're baby-sitting, Peggy. . . I just didn't think they'd be sitting right here!"

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

"And What Wine Would You Suggest To Go With An Argument?"

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

"You look sharp, like a carefully aged Cheddar."