Date Night Strategist T-Shirts

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

"Do you have anything that would make him seem a lot more attractive?"

'This way she'll think I go to lots of fancy restaurants.'

Let me see if I have this straight...you expect me to pay for my own dinner? It's a test...with me, it's alwys dutch treat on the first date. Of course I usually save a bundle on second dates as well...

The first date went pretty well

'I'd invite you in for coffee - but I've run out of condoms'

"The last one was clearly incompatible - she didn't think a shelled walnut resembled a human brain."

"It's my own fault for dating a management consultant."

"Do we have to go Dutch tonight, Arnie? I fancy a Chinese."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"You and your daft inventions."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

Sharing Drinks.

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

"I know you're baby-sitting, Peggy. . . I just didn't think they'd be sitting right here!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"And What Wine Would You Suggest To Go With An Argument?"

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"