Dating Show Fanatic T-Shirts

"O.K., Belinda, America wants to know . . . How. Will. You. Settle!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Those who can can, dance."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

Joe Hundredaire

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

"Are you sure this species has never been filmed before?"

'...and all going well, definitely no more than 15 minutes of fame!'

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

"Mom, turn on the TV!"

Studio 51

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

"Why do you suppose they call it the green room?"

'Hi, I'm here to apply for the EXTREME make over talk show!'

'American, idle.'

Showbiz is tough

'You've been watching 'Crocodile Hunter' again, haven't you?'

'Objection.' - 'Objection overruled.'

"To her, every channel is the Whether Channel."

'Here's Gwen with the latest celebrity trial news to pump up our ratings...'