Dating Show Aficionado T-Shirts

'The Science Channel's started a new quiz show -- 'The Carbon-Dating Game.''

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Call me?"

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Mantis Love

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

Drive in movies.

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

Banana Smoothie

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Tasty.

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

Young Pups In A Chat Room.

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

"Legs up to here!"

'I even love the way you snore!'

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"No, it wasn't a typo on my profile site...I really am a nillionaire."

I can't bear to be without you.

"Let me slip into something more humorous."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."