Dating Show Fanatic Prints

"O.K., Belinda, America wants to know . . . How. Will. You. Settle!"

"There's one of you I really connect with. . ."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Astral Projection

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Those who can can, dance."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

Joe Hundredaire

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'...and all going well, definitely no more than 15 minutes of fame!'

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

"Are you sure this species has never been filmed before?"

Congressionally Mandated Themes For The Daytime Talk Shows

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

'Sorry, I already have a Dancer.'

"Why do you suppose they call it the green room?"

'Hi, I'm here to apply for the EXTREME make over talk show!'

"Decision time folks! Will you come back next week and try for the baby?"

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

Studio 51

"Mom, turn on the TV!"

'American, idle.'

Showbiz is tough

'You've been watching 'Crocodile Hunter' again, haven't you?'

"It's not a riot, Dear. It's a football game."