Dating Scene Analyst Gifts

"I hear 'mysterious' when you call me creepy."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"She's just being Koi."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"I just love a nice knight out."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I'm not ready to put you on my favorites contact list, but I will add you to a group text."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"I love it when you quote my blog back to me."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Alligator Bars

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"I need a man who will commit."

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

"So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?"

'You were wrong, Bob, that wasn't her come-hither look!'

'I'm normally a leg man, but in your case.'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

Listen, I'm looking for more than just a roll in the mud!

You're wearing your lab coat. What's up? Something big. Amending my unified theory of picking up chicks. Check it out. Explain, doctor. To start, you'll need a notepad and a gym membership.

"Hitting me on the head with your club and dragging me by my hair back to the cave is not my idea of seduction."

I want to thank you for coming back to my place to see my etchings, Elaine, but I have a confession to make. I don't really have any etchings. I have an Etch-a-Sketch. !

'Yes, I need to move: I'm starting to have a reputation on the bachelor scene here...'

"So me heartie, what's say you and I 'hook up' a bit later?"

Chick Magnet

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

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Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

'It is so nice going out with a man who isn't weird.'