Dating Rule Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't take off the mask until the third date."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

Biological Cuckoo clock

"Your profile said you were a dog."

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

Romantic Coffee Dates

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Alligator Bars

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."