Dating Dynamics Aficionados Gifts

"I'd ask you up, Richard, but my roommates and I have a pretty strict 'no-"Times"-twits-in-seersucker' policy."

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"You lack spontaniety."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Alligator Bars

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

'A table for two?'

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

"We pointed, but we never clicked."