Dating Diarist Pillows

"I thought I liked him despite his affectations. It turned out all I really liked were his affectations."

Telapathy.

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"You owe me five bucks."

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

Professional woman in pub

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"What was the point of writing a blog that nobody else could read?"

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"I had half a date last weekend."

"Are you seeing anyone?"

Snake Blogging,

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"It started out as the Great American Novel. Then The Great American Screenplay. . . Short Story. . . Blog Post. . . And now I've got it edited down to a Tweet."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

'Oh, I am SO going to put this on my blog!'

'Dear Diary, well, you never know. Today I led the stampede. Imagine my surprise when I found myself out there in front, all alone. Dreams to still come true...sometimes.'

Anais Nin.

'All my opinions are posted on my online blog.'

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'Quit fooling with that stupid blog and do some REAL writing!'

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

'Can my own tweets be used against me?'

"I think I can guess which couple has been together the longest."

"I'm bored. I think I'll post something online that destroys my career prospects."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

Young Accountants in Love: 'I didn't reach the same conclusion, Phil. In fact, my preliminary figures indicate we just can't go on meeting like this!'

"We need to text about our relationship."